“Life is exponential. Two becomes four, becomes ten thousand, becomes a plague” (Paolo Bacigalupi).
If someone promised you double the fun, double the sorrow and double the joy, would you accept the offer? If they told you that with a certain product in your life you could improve your health two times better than it is now, would you believe it? What if they gave you the thing that you have wanted more than anything – like cash, a ring, a child, a business, a car, whatever, what fun would you have with it?
Attachment theorists like Richard Bowlby showed through his research that humans are made for relationships. Whatever they do, they desire to share their experience with others. Hence, double the fun, double the sorrow and double the joy! This year, 2018, is about the promise of double. As you have witnessed the first month of the year, the people who are on the journey with you promise you double the fun, double the sorrow and double the joy.
Do you recall that familiar saying, “Two are better than one because when one falls down he can help the other up (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)? Research continues to show that people who are married, who have friends, who are connected in community tend to be more altruistic, happier and more generous than those who are not connected in community. Research also shows that we seek out companionship and relationships that validate us. We naturally prefer others who encourage us rather than those who seek to undermine us or harm us in any way (Baron, Branscombe & Byrne, 2008).
But, be careful of rushing in to new relationships too soon. If I do not feel psychologically safe with you or trust you, it is highly unlikely that I am going to share my greatest desire for happiness with you. It is even more unlikely that I will reveal my secret pain for you to use it as a weapon in the event that our relationship fails. People double their fun, double their sorrow, and double their joy by spending time together. So, take your time as 2018 unfolds. Explore the opportunities while managing your current relationships.
No one is going to accomplish a great goal alone – not to be the best professional, the best friend, the best husband/wife, the best daughter/son, or the best anything alone. The simple desire to be the best to someone or to a field of persons reflects relationship, connectivity, community. Consider where they intersect around your one giant goal for 2018. Then double up!
As I close this first blog of 2018, allow me to revisit Oprah Winfrey’s speech at the 2018 Golden Globes as she received the Cecil B. de Mille Lifetime Achievement Award. She could not avoid the elephant in the room that had been hanging over the entertainment industry since 2017. So, she addressed it by inviting others to join with her to double up! She not only addresses girls, but she addresses boys too, never forgetting that all of us carry the little girl or the little boy in our hearts forever.
Oprah said, “So, I want all the girls watching here, now to know that: A new day is on the horizon! And when that new day finally dawns it will be because of a lot of magnificent women, many of whom are right here in this room tonight, and some pretty phenomenal men fighting hard to make sure that they become the leaders who take us to the time when nobody ever has to say, ‘Me too!’ again” (Oprah Winfrey, 2018).
I promised you double everything in 2018. You will have my promise of the Dear Little Sister, … book in just a few days. So, look out for it on Lulu Press and buy a copy for yourself, then one for every girl you love! In the time that I have not written this blog, I doubled the content in the existing version of Dear Little Sister, … I doubled up with childhood friends and it has become a more enriching experience than I could have bargained for. We have already begun working on the Dear Little Brother, … book for February 2018. And, it is still only January. The year has only just begun. So, take every opportunity to double up your life.
Orrin Woodward said that “Success is the exponential effect of little things done consistently over time.” If you wish for a successful year, then I challenge you to begin doubling today. Write your goal down and find one person who is working on the same thing. Take the risk and start doubling. Double the fun! Double the sorrow! Double the joy!